Now What?

Well, I'm not in remission or cured. I just feel better. Sure I have ongoing health issues, but that part of my life. I will still have the PFT's, Echo Cardiograms, Thoracic CT's, upper endoscopies, infusions and blood work. That list I just mentioned- I'm terrible at making those appointments. I dread them all. (Except the endoscopies because I never remember them and I always feel very relaxed and happy afterward.)

My problem isn't the tests. My problem is I need to stop making such a big deal out of it. It's important, but every day people make changes because of their health. For example, a person gets a high cholesterol score and works really hard to make everyday lifestyle changes just to prevent something from getting worse. They cut things out of their diet cold turkey, take the extra time to prepare fresh vegetables and learn to love them and make time to exercise. It doesn't happen for them overnight, but they do it. I have a lot to learn from them.

I take the easy way and the easy way is not always the best way. I feel like it's making me lazy. I avoid preparing food for myself. I'll opt for a protein shake and maybe some toast instead of taking time out to prepare fresh food. Sure that's okay sometimes, but I am doing it all the time. The result of this is I forget to shop for food. When I do feel like eating I end up eating fast food. After reading the last two statements, I don't just feel like it's making me lazy- it is making me lazy. Maybe it is time to be hard on myself.